Saturday, August 04, 2001
bell swam in an ocean of happines at 8/4/2001 09:25:27 PM
This is in response to Kate-chan's rant.

Yes, people Suck. We say, "oooh, look at our shiny technology," and "we have such great goverment systems" or "we're so advanced!" No. Not true. Humans are animals. Why do I say this? Because we're NOT rational beings. We still act on instinct-- how useless is a fear of the dark, these days? That's just a bit of genetics a few branches back on the evolution tree. We still act on emotion-- how many things have you done in a rage that you'd normally wouldn't do? No, we're not entirely intelligent.

There's a theory, one that I'm inclined to believe, is that there were several other human-like species existing when WE arrived. And now, the only thing remotely human is us. Why? Because we killed off all the other species. Which would explain why we're so psychotic and violent.

'Humanity,' my ass. What's so humane about us?

Society, as it stands right now, doesn't want to deal with murder. If they say 'okay' to one type of murder, then you could probably make all murders okay. So No Murders allowed. Human life is precious. Which is why any sort of killing, by individuals, is evil.

Tell me why war and capital punishment is different?

I don't hold much value in life. I do, however, HATE pain. I can't tolerate suffering. Death, whatever. But letting anything-- human, animal, vegetation, bacteria, etc-- suffer is wrong.

About DARE-- yes, it's an idiotic program. Everybody forgets it within a few years, and does their own thing. If they're going to teach about drugs, they should teach things that are actually going to *help* us. Not, "drugs are BAD." But, "this is what this drug does. this is what this one is like. which would be better for your health?" But that's wishful thinking. DARE is funded/driven by conservative parents who are clueless, and politicians who want to look good because they CARE for the Nation's Children and Good Family Morals. Awwwww, let's have a group hug.

I don't know much about this Goverment Conspiracy, but I know this much: the War on Drugs is BS. They make countries like Brazil and China sound BAD because they make and export drugs, oh noooo. Nevermind that half of what they say isn't true. And that the good old US of A goverment encourages drug trade. They do it because it gives a bad reputation to the other countries, and provides a good reason to attack/impose sanctions when the other country does no cooperate with the US's wishes.

Like I said, I don't know the details, but there is *definitely* something wrong with this.

bell swam in an ocean of happines at 8/4/2001 01:25:42 AM
...................

Oh.... dear. XD Janaki-san, you threw all the hints, but I didn't catch on at all. I give you the Twisted CCS award. I can't compete. Not with you. ^_^ But damn if I won't try! XD

Amazingly enough, I'm sleepy, so I'll go to bed early tonight. Ja ne!

bell swam in an ocean of happines at 8/4/2001 12:47:59 AM
Hm. I've gotta give Janaki-san more credit. She DID find me a koala. On the night of the full moon. I said BEFORE the full moon, but hey, she's in a different timezone. She got it in on time, in her place. I'll be lenient, since I don't always find competent 'koala wranglers.' Oh, and ph34r me. Ph34r the moment I get access to Photoshop again. XD

(kate-chan, I'd love to divulge the information, but then I'd have to sick my army of koalas-- all two of 'em-- on you. And since I'm fond of you, I'd rather not).

Friday, August 03, 2001
bell swam in an ocean of happines at 8/3/2001 08:54:04 PM
"I like the idea of intelligent apes running around, keeping humans under their non-opposable thumb. "

XD

bell swam in an ocean of happines at 8/3/2001 08:50:43 PM
Now that I've received and read a couple of genki-na emails from itooshi tomodachi, I feel better. It doesn't hurt, either, that there's an old crappy computer that works [albeit pathetically] and can connect to the internet. So I can blog, write, and socialize as before.

Still can't rescue my CorelWord files, though. >_< I have hope in the office computers of my father, but until then, all I can do is gnaw on my finger skin. *gnaws of finger skin*

At least I have the amusing thought of a koala in Touya's bed to entertain me.

bell swam in an ocean of happines at 8/3/2001 03:05:41 PM
If you're expecting me to reply to any emails, or to post on my blog, I laugh at you. I laugh bitterly.

For NO good reason the computer decided to delete the file vmm32.vxd, and this file of which I've never heard before is apparently essential to running Windows. I've found a copy of it, from another computer, and I hope it will satisfy my computer. If it doesn't, then we'll have to re-install Windows.

I am so Angry at myself. I'm Angry because I don't know how this happened. I'm Angry because I feel so hopeless. I'm Angry because I probably won't be able to use a computer all weekend. Which you might think is silly, but the computer is my creative source outlet-- I write, I draw, I design. I socialize on the computer. I read from it. Normally I'm not so depedent on computers, but during the summer, when there's nothing else to do, it's my only entertainment.

What's even worse is that I might lose all of my writing. It's currently saved on a disk (thank god!), but the program that runs it is obscured. (anybody know of Corel Word? No? I thought so). I love it to pieces, but then things like this happen... no other word program can read it, because it's password protected, so it comes out as complete gibberish. I have a copy of the program, but where am I supposed to install it? Okay, that's it, from now on I write in notepad!

I hope to get things running again, soon. I make no guarantees. I *should* be able to have access to the internet... that is, if I can get the OTHER fritzed computer to work. *sigh* If anyone knows what the vmm32.vxd file is, or why it would be deleted to arbitrarily, please tell me. I'm eager to hear.

bell swam in an ocean of happines at 8/3/2001 02:04:02 AM
.........Wrote a tentative timeline for the story. And it's frickin' seven chapters long. Plus a prologue. I write, at max, five pages. I prefer three-page deals. But seven chapters? Damn! ...It comforts me to know that each chapater is like its own story, and has the potential to be short, but still. That's only for the *first* part of the story. And what's going to go into the second part, I haven't a clue. o_O First part is kinda like things fall apart, and second... maybe they glue things together? Not into its original shape (see a previous entry where I say that no one quite gets what they want), but into something workable. Because people go on with their lives.

Thursday, August 02, 2001
bell swam in an ocean of happines at 8/2/2001 11:21:14 PM
Waaai! Janaki-san is dry! I know the pain of being wet, I know the pain very well. >_<

Oh, and she wrote the emails she promised me. *sparkle* Give her a peanut, minna-san! ^_^ Or a cookie? Which do you prefer?

I'll let you have the day off from email answering tension, I'll send the replies tomorrow. *evil grin* Yeah, I'm being *slightly* lazy. No complaints about me being hypocritical, okay? :) Hehehehehh..... Oh, and tell Eriol that he can't be TOO chosy. While he IS related to most of the CCS cast and can get away with stripping only his male relatives ;) there, in this universe he's related to no one. So he should stick to whom he can get. ^_^

And now that I've had that Wrong thought, I'll go wander off and pretend to write some more.

bell swam in an ocean of happines at 8/2/2001 05:44:23 PM
*beams* I didn't think this would happen. I honestly didn't. When otousan offered it to me, as a conslation prize for not going to otakon, I thought that it wouldn't happen. But I accepted anyway, and gave up all my plans for otakon. And it almost didn't happen. But i-onee-chan and I, we were insisting and demanding, and did all the research. So now all we have to do is pay for the reservations, and it'll be finalized. *dreamy* Iiiii ne..... and no, I won't say what it is until it's final. :D

In other sucky news, I'm having a hard time getting plane tickets for going to college and coming back. The dates for job training, dorms opening, exams, and dorms closing, all refuse to coorperate with the days of the flights offered. >_> Damn long distance traveling!

bell swam in an ocean of happines at 8/2/2001 01:49:10 PM
....You know, I'm not quite sure how I came across this article, but it's still funny as all hell? I'll be careful now, around those dangerous pumpkin pies. *snerk*

bell swam in an ocean of happines at 8/2/2001 01:37:46 PM
....And I just realized that I'm writing a story where nobody is happy at the end. I mean, it's not all bleak, but nobody really gets what they want. And I just realized how MUCH this pleases me. I'm so tired of reading fics where it's all sunlight and flowers, and if it isn't, it promises to be Pure Joy with time, because there's Hope in the Future. Screw that!

bell swam in an ocean of happines at 8/2/2001 01:24:14 PM
At 1am, as I typed a scene here and a line of dialogue there (for some reason, I am incapable of writing chronologically. The best I can do is write fragments and join them as I go along. It's kind of like putting together a puzzle, but worse, because at least with a puzzle you know there'll be a pretty picture at the end)-- why can I only think straight when half-asleep?-- the female protagonist revealed a veeeery useful piece of information. While she certainly has closed off her heart, she is also mildly bitter that no one loves her. She loved good and hard in the past, and yet, her feelings were never returned. So while she doesn't mind having the odd relationship or two, she doesn't want ever to give more than she receives.

Meanwhile, the male protagonist is suffering something akin to an acid trip. ^_____^

The obvious thing to do, my lazy self mutters, would be to have her decide she wants some lovin' while he's 'tripping,' and let nature have its way. But I laugh at that side of me. How stupid! How lame! I hope that never, in my right mind, would I do something so boring. Instead, he's rude and angry, hardly paying her any attention and not even thanking her for helping him out. Which only makes worse her inferiority complex. And, which in turn, will come to haunt him when he does fall in love with her.

I'm beginning to think it'll be impossible to put the two together, at least in the timline of this story. :P

bell swam in an ocean of happines at 8/2/2001 02:28:41 AM
Janaki-san, I don't mind providing a temporary home for your ficcie on my geocities space. And what happened to YOUR site, anyway? The information you give on your blog isn't specific.

Wednesday, August 01, 2001
bell swam in an ocean of happines at 8/1/2001 11:44:23 PM
Gyaaargh! Microfilm! *hides* Those things are a HORROR. I really wish my college would get new microfilm machines.... I work in the 'technology' center of my college, which includes everything from digital cameras to microfilm. And because maybe once every two weeks someone needs help on microfilm, I NEVER get any practice. Which means that with most of the microfilm problems I have to ask one of the other attendants on duty to help me out. >_< Plus, because none of my other co-workers ever put the microfilm back on the shelf, and because I'm so 4n4al retentive, I usually spend whole shifts cataloging a week's worth.

Reason tells me that I should go off-hours and play around with the machines, just to get some experience, but I'm so LAZY. >_<

Conclusion: Microfilm is Evil.

bell swam in an ocean of happines at 8/1/2001 11:08:47 PM

*throws fit* Blogging in my general direction does NOT count as an email, Janaki-san! I read and beta-ed your fic within three hours! So return the favor! Hmph! (I actually don't want an email, persay.... I need help with that Angst Fest. I've been working on it for the past two years, and I still don't know where to take it. I have an idea of how to incorperate it into my other Evil Idea, but I want to talk it out with someone. I'm being demanding because the one I usually bounce my ideas off of is on vacation and won't be back until I'm back in college, so I have to bug *someone*...)

Believe it or not, I do occasionally come across innocents. Just the other day I was exchanging emailing a 17year old, very bright and well versed in anime, but Iffy on explicit s3xual things. We got into an email battle, and at one point she pulls out a sword. "Lick my blade of vegeance!" @_@ I had to point out the ph4llacism of the situation. Trust me, I had FUN telling her about Utena. XD

bell: "There's this tower, the tallest on campus, it's just one HUGE ph4llic symbol."

ingrid: "............."

bell: "And they contrast the tower, in the opening, with the gates to the dormitory Utena and Anthy sleep in. Gates are openings, and guess what THAT symbolizes...."

ingrid: ".............."

bell: "There are a bunch of kendo matches, which are basically p3nis fights, with screaming f4ngirls in the background."

ingrid: "..............Are you SURE I should watch this series?"

bell: "Dude, I haven't even *started.* Those are just the obvious symbols. Don't you want to hear about how the stairwell Utena climbs in every episode is a spiral, which in several myths represent a certain part of a female's anatomy--"

ingrid: "NO." >_<

bell: XD

And yet I've managed to convince her to record for me episodes of Queer as Folk, the smutti3st gay show on Nothern American TV! *jumps around happily* I get to see QAF, I get to see QAF.... *dreamy* I hope they decide to re-run the British version of Queer as Folk soon. Because while the US version is bright, jazzy, and melodramatic, I respect the original version a lot more. It's a story, instead of being a Scandalous Way to get high ratings. (And, g-san, if you read this, YES, you're watching it, and YES, I know you'll get a kick out of it).

bell swam in an ocean of happines at 8/1/2001 11:05:21 PM
I've decided to make this 'Bell-is-Such-a-Nincampoop' Day! Which will consist of me listing several Bad (and Amusing) things about me. If, however, anyone else should participate, I will Smack 'em down with a vegeance.

* Verbal Dyslexia (or, as some friends label it, 'English Attacks'): while having difficulty carrying a jug brimming with water, I commented, "I hate it when legs fall on my water!" Which I will admit is a dreadful thing, but it has yet to happen to me.

* Cooking Skills, or Lack Thereof: To this day, I have cooked two things. Fried eggs and ramen.

* Bad Taste: You know those Knox Cubes of concetrate meat and chicken? Yeah? I think it's *delicious.* I used to eat them whole when I was younger.

* Sick Ideas: If Suppi-chan could get a human body, I think he and Nakuru would be a good copule.

As you can see, I have some odd views....

bell swam in an ocean of happines at 8/1/2001 03:43:30 PM
Since a good percentage of my daily readers consists of Janaki-san, it seems slightly pointless to advertise this here, yet I shall anyway, for the benefit of the others who read my blog on a regular basis. ^_^ Janaki-san has just written a Very Seriously on Crack CCS fic, just like all fanfics should be! ^_^ Gasp in shock as you witness the horrors she puts the characters through! ....Or burst out laughing. It's your choice. It's posted on the cffml and shoujocritters as 'One Fine Day.' I'm Seriously Tempted to draw an Eriol picture based on it.

Oh, and Kate-chan.... check your email box if you haven't yet. *grin* I FINALLY got around to giving you a proper 'critique.'

Tuesday, July 31, 2001
bell swam in an ocean of happines at 7/31/2001 09:06:19 PM
I'm Irritated at the characters of my story. The side-plot I created so that the main story could take place is gulfing over the whole thing. -_- And the main couple aren't Cooperating. The guy is too Heartbroken to think of even THINKING of someone else (even on the rebound), and the girl is primly informing me that while she certainly wouldn't MIND being with him, she's not going to go out of her way. She'd rather drink tea. I'm threatening to change her personality if she doesn't start being more cooperative, but she laughs. She knows I don't want to change her around too much because I like her as she is. I hate it when fictional characters have the upperhand. @_@

I have the main events of the beginning thought up. But I keep re-arranging them because I can't get it quite right. Plus, I have no idea where this is going. -_- I have a goal, but how the hell it's going to get there, I don't know. I'd rather this be at most seven [short] chapters, but all I can think of are the first four or so. After that, I blank.

bell swam in an ocean of happines at 7/31/2001 10:44:19 AM
I apologize sincerly to my confusion over Yukiru Sugisaki's gender. It does not help, however, that a lot of people refer to him as 'her.' (Including the webmistress of cherrycoman.net). So, let's see. My drawing hair style is based on Naoko Takeuchi (Sailor Moon), general body shape from Clamp, and the eyes are gonna come from Yukiru Sugisaki. Ah! My poor drawings will be mutants!

If you can't believe that Sakano of Gravitation is done by Koyasu-sama, here's something to make it worse: Yamaguchi Kappei did Ryuiichi's voice. Koyasu voiced Seishirou, and Yamaguchi Kappei was Subaru [in the tb oavs]. o_O Doesn't ANYONE hear my scream of pains over seiyuu inc3st? Someone's going to write them as a couple eventually, I know they are. I'm just scared that it might be me, as a favor and to torture a friend of mine. @_@

bell swam in an ocean of happines at 7/31/2001 12:15:50 AM
Clouds Up has changed layout! *bounces* I like that site a lot, it's the best source of information on Wish. Besides which, the webmistress makes a pretty page. *purrs* Check out her main page to see that I'm not lying. Then go to her image gallery. She has DN ANGEL scans. XD From the art book I didn't buy because it cost $40+. XD And I've decided. I've decided that it is in my best interest to imitate the artstyle of DNAngel's mangaka. Because, gawwwwd, no one draws like bishounen like he does. Aine's layout picture is perfect proof of this.

bell swam in an ocean of happines at 7/31/2001 12:03:11 AM
Yep, you go it right Meia-san, it's called 'Somedays Good, Somedays Bad'. Though in retrospect, it's a bit long. I'm almost tempted to change it to 'Somedays...' But I like the feel of sgsb, so it stays [for now]. Long title and all. ^_^ Call me stubborn, 'cause I am.

Monday, July 30, 2001
bell swam in an ocean of happines at 7/30/2001 08:24:26 PM
Kate-chan, I feel your pain about the last boss in ff9. I wasn't taking the game entirely seriously by that point, so I was weak. I tried once, died at the first level, and through sheer stubborness I tried again. I used a better set of tactics, but still, towards the end two of my characters were dead, and Freya was confused. "Well, I ain't gonna win. Might as well watch it to the bitter end." So I watched as she rotated in confusion, jumped every once in a while, and auto-healed herself.

To my amazement, I won. @_@

(seiya he: otanjoubi omedetou! ^_^)

bell swam in an ocean of happines at 7/30/2001 08:19:00 PM
Just watched "Charlie's Angels," though I think "Charlie's Wh0res" would have been more of a fitting title. Had fun with it. Even with the cultural pr0stitution and beyond credible situations. Would have liked more hunky guys, but the ladies were more than pleasing, so I'll forgive them. And the dorky guys were cute dorks. Works for me.

Perhaps I should add some intelligent commentary on this film, but how can I respect something with that level of stupidity?

Sunday, July 29, 2001
bell swam in an ocean of happines at 7/29/2001 09:29:32 PM
Janaki-san E: *beams* I mucho pleased you liked my ccs angst-fest. I won't mind help finishing that up.

And I take it back. I take it all back. That mst was *hilarious.* Kris-san has a wonderful sense of humor. I was especially amused because I read that fic a year or so ago, and I thought *I* was the one on crack. Looking over it again, I realized it was because I was being influenced by the author's fame and had too little faith in my opinions. It's a good concept, just executed horribly.

I thought your mother couldn't have the operation until she lost weight? Or was it just a minor one, and she has to wait for the important one? In either case, it sounds like she's taking this in stride. Yokatta.

bell swam in an ocean of happines at 7/29/2001 08:19:08 PM
According to kristin-san, there is still Potential Yaoi in Chobbits. Which makes me squeal like the f4ngirl I deny I am. Because while Chobbits is amusing and looks promising, I was heartbroken at first. Where the hell is the fun in a Clamp series without the yaoi?

I don't understand, nor do I think I want to. But I smell red meat. This, this, this, and this are all classic. If you want more, they're hiding here.

In other random observations, I just posted a new layout. *heartheart* Which is a pretty damn stupid thing for me to say, because how would you be reading my blog if you're blind?, but it's more of a future refrence for me. I'm realizing I have a lot to learn before I can become a WebsiteDesigner God, but I do like the colors. And the picture is chooou kawaii.

bell swam in an ocean of happines at 7/29/2001 08:14:38 PM
Meia-san, pantyhose would be 'meia fina' (literally 'thin sock'). Close, but you're still a sock. ^_^ And I prefer to refer to Eriol and Fujitaka as kinda-but-not-really-twins, because it's either that or "two guys who reincarnated from the same All Powerful Weirdo magician into two seperate bodies and souls." And when I tell people that, they look at me weird. If I give them the twin version, they smile and nod. Which is essentially the same thing, but, y'know, I usually prefer smiles to stares.

I think it's easier to enjoy the Dark/Daisuke because there's less than ten years of age between them (or at least in appearances). It's harder to envision Eriol/Fujitaka because one half of the couple has the body of what should be an eleven snot-nosed brat, and the other half is father-aged. It's squicky on either end, and just weirder when you put the two together.

And of course I love Eriol. *heartheart* I have to! No one has such an Evil niko.

bell swam in an ocean of happines at 7/29/2001 06:59:12 PM
Now I'm playing around with the archives. Blogger's explanations could use some work. And I wish they'd delete past posts for me once I archived them. There must be an easier way to remove the posts from the main index once they've gone to the archives.

bell swam in an ocean of happines at 7/29/2001 12:10:14 AM
X OAV trailer

Pictures like this make me wish Clamp drew 3xplicit y40i. Rowr. (from Monou Photos)