Miseries: personal fights, shoes, snobby people, snow in april.
Goals in Life: live in Japan, be happy, grow another two feet, talk maturely, be a child always.
Odd Random Facts:
* started talking when I was 5
* have an imaginary non-hentai tentacle friend named bob
* think lenin is waiting in his glass cage of death waiting for his prince to come
* don't really have a toenail collection but I boast about it anyway
* have one brother and two sisters, all older than me. I'm the [well-loved] brat of the family, can you tell?
* am very shy about my hobbies
* doodle cute anime girls and geometric animals during classes.
* my glasses spend more time perched on my head or hanging on my couch than on my nose
* would rather like to kill off all of humanity so that the world could go on in peace
* mentioning russian films and horses in the same sentence will send me off into convulsions
* have an odd bump on my nose
* practice body art-- give me a pen, give me my leg (ew), and within five minutes there'll be a duck on my thigh. and a bunny-man on my leg
* favorite kanji is onna. ONNA! the curves are soooo purty.
Female Anime Characters I Respect:
* Nausicaa: Strong, Intelligent, Kind
* Hokuto: Outspoken, Intelligent
* Oruha: Amongst the few erotic anime females that isn't evil
* Usagi: Innocent, Epitome of Kindness
* Haruka: Ferocious
* Utena: Kick-ass, Determined
* Tomoyo: Sensible, Eccentric
Damn GOOD Anime/Manga:
* Clover manga [Clamp]
* Kodomo no Omocha eps. 1-19
* Nausicaa manga [Miyazaki]
* Berserk
* Boys Next Door manga [Yuki Kaori]
Goddesses of Music:
* Dar Williams
* Indigo Girls
* Tori Amos
* Lorena McKennit [sp?]
* Ani di Franco [sp?]
Books that MUST be Read:
* Handmaid's Tale, The [Margaret Atwood]
* Catcher in the Rye, The [JD Salinger]
* Princess Bride, The [William Goldman]
* Catch 22 [Joseph Heller]
* Hitch-hiker's Guide to the Galaxy [Douglas Adams]
Bicycle Accidents This Year:
* Falling over while waving
* Running into someone
* Crashing b/c of a steep slope and high speed
* Getting hit by car
Because I'm having problems finding a place to stay between Otakon and September, otousan has offered an alternative. A most appetizing alternative. The problem is, a thousand things could go wrong, and it could not happen. Meaning I gave up Otakon for nothing. But it's tempting, so very, very, tempting....
Thursday, July 5, 2001, 12:07 p.m.
A-onii-chan has this AMAZING talent to make me go o_0;;. Not just with all the tall tales he tells me (and I occasionally still believe), but he's constantly contradicting the image I have of him. Improving himself. I remember him as this stubborn boy he didn't care much for his health, for the world, for other people's feelings (wait, that makes him sound evil. He's just stubborn, okay?).
He's also always been my partner in crime in refusal to go back to Brazil. Both of us were determined to go elsewhere. Now he calls us to tell us he's quitting his job to go to graduate school in Brazil. o_O;;; At this rate, entire family will be in Brazil within the next five years, and I'll be the only one bumping from this country to that country, not knowing where to go.
Still, I'm ecstatic for him! :D I'm sure he'll be much happier this way. ^_^
Wednesday, July 4, 2001, 10:46 p.m.
I always thought that the Clow/Sakura Cards homogeneous throughout (ie, nothing special inside), or at least the elements are! I don't think it's possible to maintain internal balance when you change shape so often. If The Watery has any organs, I'm not quite sure what happens to them when she starts raining. Where would the organs go? Mallet Space?
Based on that, I assumed that the Clow Book Guardians were pretty much the same way. Nothing but filling inside. ^_^
Ashura is another Clamp asexual character, but I think s/he was born of 'natural' means. Yeah, her birth circumstances were rather freaky, but s/he was born like all the other characters, right? (I might be wrong; I haven't read the first three volumes).
I love Clamp for not having villians! *heart* Everyone has a purpose that's as good as any other, inside of the old lame evil excuse. But I think that Eriol served as the 'bad' guy of the series, as he does the same thing all the others do: puts the main character through a lot of suffering on a weekly basis. ^_^
Wednesday, July 4, 2001, 10:33 p.m.
Our family conversation during the last blackout:
bell: ...and so the big fat penguin had eaten all the fish in the south pole--
otousan: --which would be rather difficult, since the water in the South Pole has a lot of oxygen. It's a perfect breeding ground for fish.
bell: Whatever. The polar bears ate all the fish.
*otousan looks at bell*
bell: Yes, I KNOW that there aren't any polar bears in the South Pole. Just let me finish, okay? So there weren't any fish left, and the fat little penguin was forced to go up north to Santa Cantarina! And gorged itself on palmito.
*otousan smiles; his perfect ending would be to do the same*
bell: Okay, now dad, YOU tell a story.
otousan: Once, there was a princess. Her name was Bell.
*bell rolls her eyes*
otousan: Poor princess bell was forced to stay in a tall, tall, tower. She was horrendously sad. One day, a prince on a horse came along, and offered to save her. "Let down your hair, and I'll climb up!"
bell: Let me guess. Princess Bell is bald.
otousan: Right! But the prince was a modern-thinking prince, so he didn't mind. He pulled out a remote control that called an elevator. He saved her, got married, and lived happily ever after.
bell: Some happy ending!
otousan: What's wrong with it?
bell: First off, horses SMELL. Secondly, who wants to get married? Especially to fuddy-dud princes.
otousan: Menina atrevida!
bell: Biiiii-da! :P
Oh, they're as silly as hell, but I do so love my family. :)
Wednesday, July 4, 2001, 07:59 p.m.
Just watched 'Fools Rush In' (i-onee-chan and I both have a mini-crush on Mathew Perry, as ugly as he is). Eh. Why are people always so happy to renounce their responsibilities to fate? They don't want to make the effort and responsibility of making their own decisions, so they point all the blame to destiny. Another prime example of this is the gaggable 'Simply Irresistable.' Bleeeaaargh.
Wednesday, July 4, 2001, 04:35 p.m.
I guess the gringos are celebrating July 4th. :P
Tuesday, July 3, 2001, 11:52 p.m.
I've added Aine-san to the blog list (I should also mention oddballfati-chan, one of two friends I still talk to occasionally from my previous school. fati-chaaan!).
On a random note, I was happy to see that aine-san had the same idea I did:
"After all, technically, both Ruby Moon and Yue are sexless, right? And from what I gather from the manga Akizuki is also sexless. (Suppi should know, he's a fellow guardian) So if you go by that basis, Yuki should be sexless as well. *blinks* In other words, the Touya/Yuki pairing very technically cannot be considered yaoi (as is implied by the use of the word in the fandom) or shounen-ai."
Yaaaaay! XD I said so once on some ml or other, and no one was much happy. I guess they wanted their yaoi to stay yaoi. :P But I figured that just because Clow was a genius in magic, who's to say that he knows a THING about biology? I'm willing to bet that if they did an x-ray on Yukito, he'd be missing most of the vital internal organs. HeeheeeeHEEEee...
I also realized the other day that Eriol/Clow is the anti-thesis of a Shoujo Mahou Enemy. He's wants the opposite of most bad guys: to lose his magic and to make his 'rival' (Sakura) stronger.
I bet all the other evil guys (like Golden Queen Galaxia and Nakago) are laughing at Eriol, but as Hobbes said, "I got my wish." The others just die. >_<
Mm. Sleep might be a good idea.
Tuesday, July 3, 2001, 03:21 p.m.
Y'know, my friends always look at me REAL odd when I tell them this, but one of my life-long regrets is that I've never hit anyone. And that no one's ever hit me.
Yeah, go ahead and boggle at me.
The reason I want that is because I want to have all sorts of experiences possible. I can't imagine I missed such an important one as a playground fight.
You ask, "well, bell, why not just get into a fight with the next Joe Bob you see?"
There's also the hilarious Sovereignty-Associationist Girl Nanami, one of two Utena fanfics that I've been able to read. I won't even try to begin to explain it, it's too weird and unique to put into words. The other fic is Letter to my Prince, about how Utena stumbles onto a disturbing piece of Anthy's personality. They're both by the same author.
Monday, July 2, 2001, 09:43 p.m.
Color Picker. Kate-chan, this should make you and Stephen-san happy. :)
Monday, July 2, 2001, 07:24 p.m.
I wrote telling g-chan that I couldn't remember her at all (her face or personality), so she called me a space cadet and sent me a photograph. She looks very pretty in it, and rather Chinese-y. Made me happy. :) (why am I writing this?)
fati-san, if that's what you do to me in hypothetical cases, remind me to never call you a scummy piece of mange. And, yes, I think you'd enjoy Trigun + Irresponsible Captain Tylor. But let me ask you, when did you become such an anime freak? o_O;;;; I remember showing you Fushigi Yuugi and Dragon Half (which you never watched b/c you hated the animation), but you never seemed entirely interested.
kate-chan, keep your closet god away from me. I've got enough family skeletons coming out of the closet without your impotent little god. :P
Monday, July 2, 2001, 07:16 p.m.
t0dey i walked 0utsid. itt was nish + sanny. but i neerli melted. next time musht w34r a reinkoat. b3ll sc0ld3d mi 4 my sutu-- my stuupytidy.
itt iz h4rd 2 tipe with tantecles. >_<
b0b da soggy tantecle
Sunday, July 1, 2001, 08:52 p.m.
fati-chan, what would happen, hypothetically speaking, if I called you a lame brain meanie-mo? Hypothetically, of couse. :)
Sunday, July 1, 2001, 01:37 a.m.
Yes, fati-san, that is exactly what I meant. :) Since I write in here all the time, and write an email maybe once a week (so lazy, so lazy, sooo lazy!), communicating to people through this is easier.
I say yuck to Kenshin. :P I mean, it's fun and all, but... *wrinkles nose* It's just fighting. And male-y. Take Berserk. There's a whole lot of fighting in that. But it's super interesting! All this plotting and manipulation and characterization-- Kenshin seems so cliche to me. I prefer Trigun or Irresponsible Captain Tylor, in terms of shounen anime. But I understand your ecstascy at having more anime.
Kate-san: freya was my absolute favorite. Not only was she a dragoon (*squeal* I love dragoons! Kain was my favorite *heart*), but she beat the last boss for me. All the other characters were dead, and she was confused, berserked, and low on hit points, but she still beat the last boss for me. :P YEEAH, freya! oh, and pointless fact: in Portuguese, Freya means 'nun.' *snickers*
Sunday, July 1, 2001, 01:25 a.m.
I think this is where I'm supposed to write stuff, but I'm blanking. *blink blink*
Except for... okay, know for sure that senõr t3nt4f4n isn't kate-chan (seeing her bewilderness at the name), and janaki-san seems to be clueless, too.... ja, t3nt4f4n wa ittai dare nano?! o_O;;;; Confusion. Several of my rl friends have the address to my blog, but I don't know how often they read it. Step up and confess, t3nt4f4n! b0b and I are curious. :)
Saturday, June 30, 2001, 12:40 a.m.
Saiyuki Op.2 is pure, undiluted female fanservice. Now if only I didn't feel so dorky after watching it. The first opening didn't leave me feeling so gross.
Friday, June 29, 2001, 06:45 p.m.
katelynne-sama,
i wuld luv 2 b ur frend. u r v3ry nice. + somwan tuld mee u sm3ll like fl0w3rs. i like fl0w3rs.
tentaf4n, u r da b3st!!!! i d3cl4r3 u Queen of da wurld. + i'm king, of curse.
b0b da gr34t tantecle
Friday, June 29, 2001, 06:35 p.m.
Video game names can be most amusing. In Final Fantasy 4 (my first rpg, and probably the reason I fell in love with Japan), because Cecil is referred to as the 'Enlightened One,' I named him Buddha. A-onii-chan's friend, who was Muslim, told me I should call him Muhammed, since Muhammed was the true enlightened one. Keep in mind that I was 10 at the time. o_O;;; (Bit of Islamic Info: Allah is God, and Muhammed was/is his messenger).
And I called Zidane Scruff. When I went to re-play my old game of FF6, I realized that I had given the same name to Locke. Coincidence, or recycled character designs? You decide!
How can you not like Steiner? He's such a stupid, clanking idiot. Just wish they'd develop his character further than that. And, yes, that thing between him and Beatrix made me gnash my teeth.
Sorry, Kate-chan, but I can't really send you a live coackroach in the mail. Someone, along the way, who squoosh the letter, I'm sure. So it'd end up dead. And I can't get you an apple, either. Suman.
Friday, June 29, 2001, 06:28 p.m.
*piku piku* I miss my friends. Wanna go back to college. >_<
Want to fight with g-chan where the beds will go. Want to talk with ta-chan before japanese class and get weird looks for all the weird things I'm saying. I want to run in circles with miiraa-san. Want to frustrate s-chan because I can never remember a single fact about her while I can list all of g-chan's history off the top of my head. Want to freak te-san with my non-stop rambling. Want my anime club. ;_; Want to chase squirrels around campus. Want to take the senate bus (or the fuck-truck, as it's more popularly called) to boston to go to a japanese restaurant. Want to order vegetarian pad thai at Amarin. Oh! I do miss college. >_<
Friday, June 29, 2001, 01:20 a.m.
Janaki-san. o_o That's really, completely, mind-numbingly scary. Which isn't the most comforting thing to say. >_> But since you're aware of the trend now, and medicine has progressed... you should be able to take care of it. I wish your mother good health. -_-
And kick that lawyer's fanny. Really.
Thursday, June 28, 2001, 10:59 p.m.
Jokes aside, tentafan wa dare nano? o_O;;;
Wednesday, June 27, 2001, 02:03 p.m.
I think Sydney's more like a Barbie Doll than the Tin Woodsman. Except that he's skinnier, wears less clothing, his hair is shorter, and his limbs are re-attachable.
Wednesday, June 27, 2001, 01:05 p.m.
bel's frends sat on mee AGIN!!!! and they laffed at me.
but me dun't kare, i got a numba one f4n!!! sayz sh3's da bigest f4n. i h0p3 sh3's n0t t000000 big. bcauz it will HUUUUURT when sh3 sits on mee. why d0 all my frends sit on mee? maybe bcauz they luuuuuv mee. i like luv. luv makes mee happi.
b0b da happi tantecle
Wednesday, June 27, 2001, 12:21 p.m.
Some people just have a desperate, terrible need to gossip. I never knew that need could be so strong!
I went out book-hunting today (and found nothing, GRRRR), when I ran into a lady that looked like could be someone I know. I greeted her politely, and was going to go on with my life when she pulled me into conversation. Whatever. I think she's the mother of one of my ex-high school classmates. She started off on okay subjects, but then she started telling me all these things I did NOT want to know about ppl I never want to think about again. That's so scary, to have to gossip to a near-stranger about your daughter's FRIENDS. My mom can hardly NAME my best friends. @_@
Kate-chan, if you really want a picture of the coackroaches, I can try to get you one. >_> Or if you want, I can stick one of the corpses in an envelope and mail it to you.
Tuesday, June 26, 2001, 11:20 p.m.
deer janaki-sama,
i haerd abut u. u sound awsum!! wil u bee my frend? i'm verry nice. very nice. ppl say so ALL da time. yeah. lots and LOTS of ppl. so bee my frend, pleese?
bob the frendlie tantecle
PS: i like schtuff. wat do u like?
Monday, June 25, 2001, 11:37 p.m.
kate-chan, I'd say that my otousan is more raged/frustrated/sad than he is disapointed. And the reason is almost embarrassing, since I've been showing off about the same subject for the past few days. I-onee-chan helped me buzz cut my hair, and I was much happy. But when otousan saw me... >_< He has this slight problem in which when he. refuses. to see. other people's points of view. So I'm not being feminist or light-hearted when I cut my hair, I'm being destructive. He's not angry enough to treat me any differently than usual, but I think he's bewildred over his odd daughters. :P
I squooshed the coackroach because they're big and disgusting and UGLY. >_< If they had the decency to stay small, I'd be okay with it. But they grow into the ghastly and monstrous size of six inches. And they're GROSS. I don't think those things are lost. My bathroom has enough of 'em to be a roach motel. And the bidee is the roach highway. If it makes you feel any better, I leave the lizards (or patchberries, as we call them) alone. Three currently reside in my bathroom.
The more crack-induced the mystery story comes out, the better. ^_______^ Any help would be much appreciated. Left to my own devices, the thing would get too serious.
BTW, are chris and trevor related to you? Curious.
Monday, June 25, 2001, 11:30 p.m.
bell: ...and then Rosencratz chops off Sydney's arms.
i-oneechan: !!
bell: But it's okay, because Sydney puts his arms back on and sicks a monster on Rosencratz.
i-onee-chan: NEVER. Show. Me. This.
bell: o_O;;; Why? It's one of the coolest scenes in the game!
i-oneechan: >_<
I guess it's weird having a younger sister who one moment is happily watching card captor sakura and kodomo no omocha, and the next is purring over a gruesome scene. XD
Monday, June 25, 2001, 07:11 p.m.
My otousan, in the past couple of years, has developed a taste for hard-boiled detective novels (I'm almost tempted to say that the man is tired of revolutions, but that will never happen). Hence, the house is full of these detective novels from the 30's-60's. Being bored out of my mind here, I read 'em. And get sick to my stomach. Those authors were pricks.
So now I have a detective story I'd love to write. The protagonist would be the 'client' of the story, a wary woman but with heart. She'd hire a nincampoop of a detective, who though as smart as your average squirrel, manages to stumble into important details. The detective would also be one of the prime suspects for the murder. Tempted to add yuri elements. And then they'd be a smarmy lawyer, in charge of the protagonist's company, and another prime suspect. The protagonist would have to solve the case herself. :)
Unfortunately, I'm terrible at thinking up mysteries. >_>
I could call it "The Night of Many Butlers" despite the lack of butlers in the story because it would irritate the reader. Not to mention how it'd throw them off track!
Monday, June 25, 2001, 07:02 p.m.
I imagine that having children is tough.
Aside from the usual problems with money and time, that is. What I mean is, it must be difficult to watch your kids grow up into young adults, feeling proud for this accomplishment and that one, and you're feeling like the best parent in the world, and then your kid goes and does something so crazy and odd you never even feared they'd do it. Sure, you wanted them to be free and themselves, but you didn't want them to be a freak.
I imagine that's how my father is feeling today. -_-
Sunday, June 24, 2001, 11:06 p.m.
Today we had no less than three blackouts. All within ten minute intervals. Bleargh. Fine, all right, whatever, life moves on. But then one of our appliances went out of whack and started dripping. Not, dripping isn't the right verb. It started GUSHING this beautiful light brownish water, right on top of our bookshelf. Could have ruined all whole ton of books. :P
Heat. Makes. Mind. Melt. Will write coherent happy thoughts as soon as I get the goop that used to be my mind, and freeze it back into working.
Sunday, June 24, 2001, 10:40 a.m.
Remembered another dream. o_O;;; This NEVER happens! It takes me months before I can remember another dream. And these ones have been very rich in color and visual detail. Usually, I recognize people in my dreams only because I 'know' that it's them. These days, it's only after I wake up that I say, "hey, that guy looked like the obnoxious eigth grade teacher at my school," or, "that was my Japanese friend from college!"
At any rate, first I dreamt that, for whatever reason, I was showing a tape of porn to i-oneechan. With the actors from 'Friends.' o_O;;; But before anything graphic started, I got embarrassed, and stopped the tape. She was all curious, "c'mon, what was that, I want to see the end of it!" -_- Didn't show her.
Later, I dreamed that I was the red-headed protagonist of the DN Angel series. Daisuke, I think is his name? Anyway, me and some other bishounen were climbing a mountain. I was just about to reach the top when my fellow bishounen thought I called him anal. He then transformed all the rocks on the mountains into picture, which were tapped onto the mountain. So when I tried to grab onto something to support myself, it would come off the mountain. o_O;;;; Kowakatta!
Sunday, June 24, 2001, 10:36 a.m.
Found a coackroach in my bathroom last night. Joy of joys. At least I don't run screaming, anymore, when I see them. Now I grab a shoe and smash the little fucker. XD
Saturday, June 23, 2001, 09:22 p.m.
Kate-chan, you have cat ears?! Where did you get them? My future roomate, g-chan, is a cat (there's no other way to explain her), and has always wanted cat ears. They'd be the perfect present. :)
And I didn't know you walked with bunny ears! How cool! *awe* But, yeah, Bunny Ladies are a definite sex symbol. You can thank Playboy and Jessica Rabbit for that. That, and you know their reputation for reproducing. >_>
The Heartless Bitches International just scared me. >_< I didn't know what to make of it, they were all so mean on the introduction page. *shivers in fear* I'm inflamatory when it comes to my opinions, but I'm a sweet gal, overall.
A new kodocha episodes is up! *dances* It'll take only, oh, another five hours to download on my dinky modem. >_>
Saturday, June 23, 2001, 02:32 p.m.
My friend te-chan, who works in Osco, wants me to translate this into Japanese. "To spice up my shift," she explained. I don't know how to do the uber-polite storeclerk speaker talk, do you guys know?
"attention osco shoppers, the time is now nine o'clock and osco drug is now closed for the evening. please bring your final purchases up front to register 2 and as always, thank you for shopping osco drug. thank you and have a nice evening."
Oddly enough, I can come up with a world domination speech easier than a translation for this. :P Sekai wa ima boku no daaaa!!
Saturday, June 23, 2001, 02:30 p.m.
Scales amuse me. I weighed myself. Went to the bathroom. Weighed myself again. I lost 1.5kgs. XD
Saturday, June 23, 2001, 05:50 a.m.
*giggles* Janaki-san, anti-feminist? No.
The reason I asked if you didn't agree was because Kate-chan said she was happy someone who read her blog agreed with her about hair. I remembered that while you have a ton of hair (very long, and wasn't it lavendar for a while?), and you do shave, you were always supportive of me. So I thought I might share the news with Kate-chan. :)
I try not to be, but I am fairly vain. Let's see, if I REALLY didn't care about my hair, I wouldn't cut it. Or wash it. But that's SO GROSS! I have to wash my hair every day or so. I can't stand myself otherewise. :P Plus, I do like myself in a crew cut.
The problem with make up and whatnot isn't so much that people use it, it's the conventions that follow it. Girls start shaving their legs for no reason other than everyone else is doing it. Do not like the lemming mentality. But if they actually do want to shave their legs, and would do it even if it weren't the standard, then fine.
And I do like long hair. Just on other people. :P Besides, if everyone ran to shave their heads, that'd be the social norm, and that's not the point. I just want people to do what they want to do-- not be brainwashed by popular media into becoming a bleating lamb.
'boyfriend-stealing lesbo'? o_O;;; Yeah, lesbians are really desperate for those men. Amen. Kinda of like when someone said to me, "Oh, I'm fine with homosexuals. It's the bisexuals I don't like." When I asked her what the problem was, "I think we're all meant for only one person." I wonder if she thought that bisexuals date two people at a time, one female and one male? Odd.
kate-chan.... mika-san ga kowai. ;_;
Friday, June 22, 2001, 10:32 p.m.
And about the toenails-- I'm assuming your mother wanted them for some medical reason, right? o_O;;; But I guess I can't complain. I have this very cute tiny green box where I store my baby teeth. I love that thing. *sweatdrop*
Friday, June 22, 2001, 09:06 p.m.
Kate-chan (since you insist ;)), I agree completely! (And I was under the impression that Janaki-san did, too. Are you lying to me? o_O;;;)
There is a definite problem with how women have to be beautiful, young, and perky. For example, I just saw an advertisement for 'Message in a Bottle' (which is a TERRIBLE film). The guy was old, balding, squinting, and had a beer belly. The lady was twenty or so years younger, and blonde. Watch any movie with frumpy sex, and that's your couple. Men can look close to crap, women have to have unwrinkled dress suits.
And there you go. In a lot of romantic media-- books or films-- women CAN have carrers. They can be lawyers, artists, news casters, journalists. Yet the high point of their lives is falling in love. What the fuck?!
(for my part, I don't wear any make-up or high heels/funky shoes. I don't diet either, because I that my current weight is perfctly healthy. I do wear clothes that reveal a lot of flesh, but that's because I don't care what people think, and I get hot easily. Plus it's comfortable).
There's this experiment that I'd love to make. One day I'll grow my hair to a 'decent' length (a boy's hair cut, maybe), put on make up (for the first time in my life!), and dress sexy. Then I'll go to Harvard Square, and then to some frat party. See how people react to me. The next day I'll shave my head, and go as I usually go. See how people react to me. I'm sure there'll be a great difference between the two days.
About attraction-- my friend once said, "I like girls who look like guys, and guys who look like girls." I think that sums it up perfectly. (Though when I crush on guys, I'm more interested in their wit and intelligence than their looks). We're all so sekkushi. Raaar. But like one quote I heard recently, "All guys are either taken, gay, or homicidal." Suppose the same goes for women.
Here's something I don't understand. Some of my fellow women at my college object to being called feminists. o_O;;; It's like it's a dirty word. (and they ARE feminists, even if they dislike the term). Feminist does not necessarily equate to men-bashing bitchy butches. It covers that, too, but there's so MUCH more to the field.
-__-
And since I'm getting all worked up, I might as well go on. Why is menstruating such a taboo? People will sooner talk about hernias on TV than menstruations. Ooooh, blood, oh no. How dirty, how embarrasing, to be doing something that all women across the world do! Don't talk about it, the children might hear, god FORBID they learn about it before the day they find blood on their underwear.
Men claim to be so macho, and they stagger around, but they don't bleed for three days straight. In fact, they get grossed out just hearing about it. :P Wimps!
I just read this book, "The Woman in the Body," and one of the thing it discusses is how a lot of women become more creative before/during their period. And did you know that according to the medical definition, PMS is an abnormal state of health. Meaning that most woman, according to current medical science, are "abnormal" during their period. o_O;;;; I love this book. It debunks a lot of gender steryotypes found in science. And, trust me, there are a LOT of steryotypes.
My solution to all social conventions I hate is to ignore them, and be loud about it. The hardest part is jumping into the water (not to mention the first few days when everyone you know sees you bald for the first time). Hair grows back, kate-chan. It grows surprisingly fast. :)I've never seen you, but I'm sure you're not half as oogly as you think you are. All these media prototypes are scaring you. So try it.
I'm thinking of setting up a feminist anime website, featuring essays exposing the sexism in the genre. But I'm terribly lazy. -__-;;;;
Janaki-chan: I nominate you for sporting the longest cold ever. o_O;;;; Hontou ni ningen nano ka?!
Friday, June 22, 2001, 08:19 p.m.
*thinks hard*
I'd like to go to Otakon. I'm even registerd for it. And I'd like to leave Paki-land in August (two months is fine, but three months is going to leave me brain dead). BUT! But there's a three/four week period between the end of the convention and the time I can go back to college.
I do have friends I can stay with, but not for that long. I could bounce from one friend to the other, but transportation is near impossible in the East Coast. :P (is it this bad in the rest of the US?). I could also stay in a hotel, but god that doesn't fit into a college girl's budget, and it'd be boring. Doushiyou?!
Friday, June 22, 2001, 05:16 p.m.
eeeeeerkkkkkkk... *sick to stomach*
Someone found my website by looking up 'toenail collection.' This means that someone was curious in this subject. Which threw me off. People actually have toenail collections?!
So, out of curiosity, I looked up 'toenail collection' on yahoo. And, erk. o_O;;;; Look it up yourself and make your own judgements. As a warning, however, I shall present to you this quote that I got from the search: "Do you wanna come to my house and look at my toenail collection? If you let me smell your hair, you can eat one."
-_-;;;;;;;
Friday, June 22, 2001, 09:30 a.m.
Kate-san--- I sympathize. I HATE hair social conventions. In high school, for whatever reason, I shaved my head. Half the school was convinced that I was suffering extreme depression. ARGH! No. It was the same reason that I got one ear pierced. I was trying to be more masculine and break gender lines (which is hard when you're 4'11 and have the voice of a prebuscent chipmunk).
Shortly after that, I stopped shaving. At all. Nobody noticed my legs (since we're not allowed to wear anything short, gotta have respect for the Muslim country), but I hated raising my arm. Didn't want everyone to see my armpit hair. o_O;;;; I walked all the time with my arms close to my body. A friend noticed and asked me about it one day, and I explained. "Oh, if you're so embarrassed, shouldn't you shave it? I know it's fun to break the rules, but there are SOME social conventions you should follow." I liked him a lot, and respected him a whole bunch, but I nearly punched him for that. HATE HATE hate social conventions.
Now I'm at a very woman-power-loving college (yaaaaay!), and though I'm teased for my crew cut (I look better that way than bald), it's good. And I never feel embarrassed when I wave my arms around or wear short shorts. Nobody blinks an eye.
Besides which, shaving is a time-wasting bore. AND it was damaging to my skin. :P Really, such gasps of horror arise from US citizens when they hear about Chinese foot binding-- which is a dastardly, evil, painful deed-- but they refuse to admit how much they hurt themselves in pursuing beauty.
Kate-san, in short-- bite people's heads if they critiscize you for not shaving. Shave your head if you like. See what happens. It's not the end of the world, trust me. Okay, so guys don't flirt with me much, but who wants shallow men? :)
Thursday, June 21, 2001, 09:40 p.m.
D'oh, I need, to buy some beer,
Rei, the guy who seels me beer,
Me, the guy, who drinks the beer,
Far, a long way to my beer!
So, I think I'll have a beer,
La! Lalalalala beer,
Tea, I'd rather have a beer,
And that brings us back to,
D'oh, d'oh, d'oh,
D'oh, I need, to buy some beer.
XD Is it wrong that I love this?
Sing to the tune of 'Doe, A Deer.' XD XD
Thursday, June 21, 2001, 08:34 p.m.
Because I've been blabbing so much about Graviation I thought I might explain it.
Shuichi is a pink-haired, teenaged, writhing mass of ENERGY. At an early age he was inspired by the hit singer Ryuichi, and now he wants to be a singer. He has a slight problem, though, in that he's dumb. Very dumb. Seven year olds are smarter. At any rate, he and his pal Hiiro form the band Bad Luck, and the series follows their road to stardom.
All that, however, is merely an excuse for the love story of Shuichi and Yuki.
Yuki is this blond, scowling, chain-smoking, GORGEOUS man. Raaaaar. However, Yuki has suffered from some vague Disturbing Events in his life that have made him very, very Bitter. He does not care for Charm and Kindness or Love (and how IRONIC, he's a famous romance author). He does not take well to prattling pink-haired boys throwing themselves at his feet. None the less, Shuichi has some sort of charm (that's invisible to the viewers) that he can't resist. So even though Yuki calls Shuichi "dumb, pathetic, irritating," etc, they're madly in love. Go figure. >_>
It's a cute show, filled with other fun characters. Like Tohma the presient of the music company (and whom I KNOW is a woman beneath that pretension of being a man). And Ryuichi, the even dumber singer than Shuichi. And, of course, Sakano, the ever-nervous producer who wails at any problem.
I love Pokey. Honest to god. I think this could be the basis of my philosophy. Insanity. Randomness. Crack to high degrees. Yes, this is a good philosphy.
Thursday, June 21, 2001, 01:35 p.m.
*gives Janaki-chan a big hug*
There are no perfect people, no matter how much you might love them. It's disheartening and painful. I imagine that saying that is about as comforting as giving you a sharp pencil, but realizing it makes it easier for the next time. Which isn't all that nice a thought either. >_<
Wednesday, June 20, 2001, 10:27 p.m.
Y'know, Yuki, if you're willing to give up on your depraved ways of seducing fifteen year old boys, I'm perfectly willing to be yours. >_> Oh, and you HAVE to stop lounging around the house all day.
(I'm sorry. But now it's his voice)!
I love listening to Gravitation! I've never heard of Inoue Kazuhiko (Yuki) before, but he's got this great sexy smoker's voice. Then there Koyasu Takehito (Sakano). And while I'd usually be calling "FOUL!" because he got the part of the dorky producer, it's so cool to see him expand his roles. We all know he's got the dark bishounen part down pat, so I'm having fun with this comedic bit. Meanwhile, Orikasa Ai (Tohma) is very cool, too. And I've decided that Tohma is a woman. I don't care what you say. No man walks like that. And, I knew it! I KNEW it! Yamaguchi Kappei is Ryuichi! I thought it was him, but I didn't think he'd show up in a yaoi anime (even if he was Subaru) or that he could sound that high on crack. Lastly, Okiayu Ryuutarou (K) has the greatest gaijin accent ever. XD
All this results in a puddle of happy bell goosh in front of the tv.
Wednesday, June 20, 2001, 09:32 p.m.
A random evaluation of some Clamp female characters, because I've grown to appreciate them.
Chii (of Chobbits): She's cutting it close, acting like a whore and beind dressed up like a blow-up doll in the color pictures. But I like the fact how she sees these odd sexual positions as nothing more than a fun pose to make. It's not naughty or anything. To her, scratching her arm is the same as walking around the house half naked with underwear on her head. You gotta like a girl like that.
She's also showing some evidence of being a kick-ass powerful computer-net system, but on the other hand, she's also turning into a subservient love-maid ("it's cold outside, take a jacket"). Erk. Will have to read beyond the first volume to make a better judgement.
Oruha: Wow. I mean it. WOW. It's not that she's sexy. But it's that she's NOT a skanky ho. Anime has tons of sexy female bodies, but either they're evil/sluts (Kanoe, Pirotess, Soi), or they're too innocent of such sinful matters to notice (Sailor Moon, Pressea).
Oruha has this marvelous confidence and beauty. She oozes this sensuality, and while it is an intricate part of herself, there's more to her. A mischivious nature, a passion for singing, a zeal for life, and a melancholy that makes her cautious.
I love Oruha because she's not ashamed of being a woman.
Hokuto: Ufufufu! I love Hokuto-chan! Fiery, spirited, original, creative, she's everything I wanted to be! Well, okay, so she does want to be a housewife, but she's an informed lady, she knows that there's plenty out there. So she's making an informed choice.
But, yeah. Aggresive and Creative.
Wednesday, June 20, 2001, 02:41 p.m.
Eh. >_> The local military dictator, with a few changes in the constitution, has declared himself president.
I'm expecting him to be overthrown in the next year or two.
So what's new?
Tuesday, June 19, 2001, 09:46 p.m.
Gravitation is fun, but it's cutting close to my squick edge. Shuichi isn't just young, but he acts young, thinks young, looks young, and is just plain DUMB. Then comes Yuki, handsome man, and plays around with the boy. Ummm.... >_> Um! Um. No.
But then at the end of the third episode, right when I think he's being smarmy and yucky and is just going to screw Shuichi over again (and I'm entirely right), he says,
"Ima no omae wa... chotto kawaii."
Oh, it isn't the line. That's cheesy. But his FACE!
*melts*
But the fact still remains that Yuki is creepy.
Tuesday, June 19, 2001, 08:58 p.m.
....Janaki-san, daijobu? Doushitano?
Tuesday, June 19, 2001, 08:28 p.m.
To fit in with the previous entry's melancholy, I'll post the only piece of writing I've written in months that I like. Yes, it's short. Inspired by Dar Williams' version of 'Fall on me,' originally by REM. It's beautiful. Find it at Audio Galaxy. NOW. She is a Goddess.
--------
Feathers. The impossible is happening, this very moment.
Incredulous, they all stare. At first all there is silence. Only the silence of flabbergasted minds. And then the yells come in. Yells of disbelief. That's not possible, they cry. That's not fair. Come back down and obey the laws of physics.
Their joint jealousy cannot pull her down, however.
She is flying.
And higher she climbs, closer and closer to the infinity of blue sky.
--------
Tuesday, June 19, 2001, 08:19 p.m.
Those bones from the family closet of skeletons just keep pilin' on. Except today it wasn't so much a bone as it was the handkerchief with a slight smudge of chocolate on it, and you realize that the skeletons weren't weird or magical, but simply another person. Nobody outstanding, just a... human. Someone I might have run into on the street, but never noticed.
Things like that make me melancholy. >_>
Tuesday, June 19, 2001, 09:28 a.m.
o_O;;;;;
I found the following article by Robin McKie in the 'The News' (Islamabad/Rawalpindi Edition), in the World/International Section, on Monday June 18, 2001. I've typed up pieces of it for your benefit.
Please tell me this is a joke.
"Getting too hot here? So move the Earth
"Scientists have discovered a way to prevent out planet for overheating: move it to a cooler spot. All you have to do is hurtle a few comets at Earth, and its orbit will be altered. Our world will be then sent spinning into a safer, colder part of the solar system.
"The idea comes from a group of Nasa engineers and American astronomoers who say it could add six billion years to the useful lifetime of our planet-- effectively doubling its working life.
"....engineers would direct the comet close to Jupiter or Saturn.... later, its orbit would bring it back to Earth and the process would be repeated.
"...In the short term, the plan provides an ideal solution to global warming, althrough the team was concerned with a more drastic danger. The Sun is destined to heat up in about a billion years, and so 'seriously compromise' our biosphere-- by frying us up.
"Hence the group's decision to try to save Earth. 'All you have to do is strap a chemical rocket to an asteroid or comet and fire it at just the right time,' said Laughlin. 'It is basic rocket science.'"
Sunday, June 17, 2001, 04:18 p.m.
In our house, sometimes it's better to leave the dusty books on the shelves. 'Cause you can find the oddest relics from the past burried in their pages...
i-oneechan discovered one such relic today. A christmas I made for my mother in 1992. The cover is fine enough, even if Santa Claus is the thinnest he'll ever be. And the picture of a scraggly christmas tree is cute. But, but... but someone explain me this caption!
"O Papai noel esqueceu a sua calça.
"O que ele vai fazer?
"NADA!"
Or, "Santa Claus forgot his pants. What's he going to do? NOTHING!"
This to my own mother! o_O;;;; I was sick and depraved before I even knew what those terms meant. *shakes head*
On one of the mls someone reported seeing a Cardcaptors commercial featuring Eriol. *deep, long sigh* *maniacal laugh* So it's started.
Honestly, after the first half, I'm CURIOUS as to how they're gonna wreck the third season. Since benevolent enemies are unheard of in American Cartoons, Eriol will probably be painted a lot blacker. And because reincarnations are confusing, he'll probably not be related to Clow in any way. *laughs* And they'll make him in love with Madison, since the fandom likes that so much, might as well please them a little bit. And Nakuru is going to be a wholesome, American gal for whom Tori falls in love.
Proposed Dub Scene Tori *touching Julian's face*: You know, I have to confess, I'm totally head over heels in love with that new girl--
Nakuru *pouncing Tori*: Oh, you make me blush!
Tori: Oh, Nakuru, not in public~~~~!
Scary thing is, if you dubbed it properly, it could work. >_>
*wonders* How would they explain the weakening Yue and Yukito (because they can NOT have that tension between Touya and Yukito, and they'll HAVE to cut the power transfer scene)? Ah, they'll just cut it all out. More time for the advertisers.
Oh, yes, I am most definitely curious to see how they'll mangle the plot.
Sunday, June 17, 2001, 07:42 a.m.
*glare* Urusai, janaki-san. >_> Doushite hen nano? Not a lot of ppl know about my blog (despite getting a few hits from google). *sniffle* I'm shy. Buuuuuut.... I'll forgive you 'cause of the TxS fic! *glomp* Janaki-chaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan! There's so much much drivel in that department, it makes me cry. *shikushiku*
Happy for your new house. *throws confetti* New house, new house! I'm also now expecting a few entries on moving your stuff INTO the house, arguing with your housemate(s?) who gets to used the bathroom first in the morning, and cursing the hard-to-open windows(that's always been one of my biggest challenges. New windows to open. And the worst ones are New England houses. Why are they so damned tough to open? And how did I veer off into this tangent? And WHY?!) Tonikaku, omedetou. One less anxiety-provoking problem for you. :)
I saw kris' blog, all that sydney is making me haaaaappy. *nikoniko* Priya-san also has the most interesting, erm, 'dialogue' involving the Vagrant Story characters on her blog. Yuuuummmmmm....
(bad points to bell: stop objectifying men!)
te-chan (rl friend from college), I don't know if you read this or not, but you might... I'll apologize for the rampant yaoi and yuri here. But you know me. You might as well ask the sun not to be so yellow. :)
Randomly, as always, I was scanning the shelves when I found 'The Catcher in the Rye,' one of my all-time favorite books (look to the sidebar to see my other favs). I started skimming the book when I realized just how much that guy influenced me. I haven't read the book all that many times, maybe four (plus several tons of skimmings), but my writing style imitates the book. Never even realized it.
And here I thought the song "horny" had been firmly entrenched in my mind. "I Touch Myself" is making an excellent job of being stuck in my mind. "I close my eyes (and see you before me), I think I would die if you were to ignore me...."
I remembered another dream. I NEVER remember my dreams, do you realize this? I remember them about once every two months. But anyway. Another anxiety dream with b-b-oneechan. (Disclaimer first: I love her. She drives me up the walls, but subconsciously I'm desperate for her approval. And like all those whom I want to please, I get anxiety dreams about them). We were fighting, and she was refusing to talk to me. We were walking around a non-descript nature place, when she fell down a hill. I was going to let her be, let herself climb up, when I realized we were in Virginia. Suddenly she was clinging on the edge of a vertical, rocky mountain wall. And there were snakes near her. I/she got her up, but not before being bit by a snake. I ran, dragging her around, frantic to get a cure. Maybe we got a cure. I don't remember. I hope we did.
*piku* Long blog entry today.
Saturday, June 16, 2001, 07:17 p.m.
Clouds are black outside, crows are circlying in groups of twenty, and the wind are flying frantically. A good storm is on its way.
My otousan and i-oneechan have an odd predilection for Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers. And I like those musicals, too. They're fun and airy and mind-calmers. But every night, when we try to think of a film to watch, it's Fred and Ginger. o_O;;;;; Wish we'd go on a Clint Eastwood rampage again, he's amusing. I even got 'Unforgiven' and we haven't watched it yet. *pouts* And Chapaev! I've wanted to see that film all semester, and now I can because we actually have it (must be the only copy of a Russian film in the country), but we haven't. *pouts* Yeah, I know I never watch any of the films. And I know I always falls asleep when I do. Still, it scares me when they can watch every night of the week Fred and Ginger. *sings* When we're out here dancing cheek to cheek.
For those of you who don't know, Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers were one of the magical movie pairs of Hollywood in the 40s. Before Fred Astaire became famous, one guy commented about him, "Balding. Can't sing, can't act. Can dance a little." It's all true, except for that last bit. He can dance up a storm. He and Ginger had a small dancing bit in the film 'Flying Down to Rio' and the public went wild. They demanded more of the pair, and so they went on to make a dozen or so movies together. Follow the Fleet, Top Hat, The Gay Divorcé, and a whole other bunch.
Fred Astaire really is frumpy. He's old and one of the gayest guys I've seen on the screen. But I have a soft spot for him in my heart. He's just that charismatic.
In other news, kate-chan is the second person to link my blog. :) Happy because I'm generally shy about making online friends. And she seems like an omoshiroina hito. *heart*
For Kate-chan, I'll tell a dream with a theme from day. When I was six or so, and had the BIGGEST crush on Fred, I had this dream with him. "Fred Astaire!" I gasped. "What are you doing here?
"I don't know," he answered.
"What do you mean, you don't know?"
"I just don't."
I don't remember this dream at all, but I hear about it often anyway. The parents think it's cute. What am imaginative child I was. >_<
Saturday, June 16, 2001, 02:48 p.m.
Some people fantasize about being rich. Or famous. Or being happy. Y'know, normal desirable things. Things most people would ask for if presented with a wish-granting spirit.
Meanwhile, I dream about being a waitress in a dinky restaurant. >_> I'm completely out of touch with the working class. I want to know what it's like, so that I can better help, and so that I'll know how to write such situations. You can't write what you don't know about!
Experience is what I want. Dirty, gritty life. *waves to shelves and shelves of books* I love academia. I absorb myself in it. But it's all so fake and meaningless, piles and mountains of words. I need some first hand experience.
Saturday, June 16, 2001, 09:46 a.m.
Wow. There are only so many family skeletons you want to dig up in a day. At first it's interesting enough-- oh, I never knew that, now that bit of history makes sense, how cool-- but the bones start piling up and you need a break.
B-b-oneechan made an apt comment about the six of us (my parents and us four siblings)-- "it's us and our bags." We're a tightly woven bunch, and while I enjoy the closed-membership club for now, I'm not looking forward to the day I try to introduce my future life-partner into the family. >_> Because they're never going to be intergrated into the club. It's a life-long membership, but no outsiders are allowed.
On another subject, I've been going crazy with looking up books on Amazon and then adding them to my wish list. And boy is it coming out odd. I mean, you look up a subject, you get interested, they offer you suggestions on books like it, so you look those up, put them on the list and-- I look like I'm obsessed with Japanese culture and sexuality. *shakes head*
Saturday, June 16, 2001, 07:32 a.m.
I was fooling around with some writing (trying to get over my writer's block-- it kills me because I'm excellent and writing just before I fall asleep, but at the computer screen I just blink. *blink blink*), and came up with the image of a barking duck. Hah hah, barking duck!
.....Oh, leave me alone. >_>
Friday, June 15, 2001, 07:26 p.m.
Asked my parents about the 'lança perfume,' the thing they were getting high off. Apparently, when they were kids, at carnivals they sold perfume bottles that contained a mixture of ether and water. The kids would smell this and get high, "up in the stars," for a few seconds. It was out- lawed a few years later, which makes them furious. They claim it was perfectly harmless. >_> Suuuuure....
Something I've wondered about: if two penguins were to meet each other in a forest, what would they do? Aside from dying because of the heat, that is. Maybe they'd squack at each other. Squawk, squawck-- squawck? What noise does a penguin make, anyway? Maybe it's more of a whine. Eeernk, eeernk!
"Abro a geladeira mais não acho satisfaçao...." o_O;;;; Um, yeaaah..... ("I open the fridge but I don't find satisfaction." What the hell?!). Seriously, I should have started listening to Brazilian music YEARS ago.
I'm feeling cheerful. Maybe it's the music, a mixture of 'I Touch Myself' and these Brazilian songs? Amazing what a good rhythm can do for the spirit. *twirls around the room* "Lança! Lança perfume!"
Friday, June 15, 2001, 10:56 a.m.
Not writing for any particular reason. Just like making more and more entries. Almost like I'm being productive, but not. :)
The latest in a long trend of odd searches: somebody found my page by looking up 'Getting hit by a car.' *looks at side bar* I don't think I give information of much relevance on this subject.... Really, I'm curious how this page ended up on the Google search database. And more than ever, ppl are looking up 'hentai tentacle.' *pats bob* It's all right, don't worry, I won't let those weird guys get you.
Anyone want to suggest a good book to me? I wanted something femmenist, but since most of the books in my house has been gathered by my euro-centric male chauvinist father (but I still love him), I'm limited in that area. A good fiction book will do.
Friday, June 15, 2001, 01:04 a.m.
*waves to previous blog entry* Yes, I do get melancholy, whiny, dark, and annoying here. I reserve that right. My blog, my ranting space,I get to write what I want. :P
To make up for it, though, I'll wonder why the HELL there's a shoe currently sitting in my [never used] bidee.
Theory #1: It's not a shoe. It's a coackroach motel.
Theory #2: It walked there from planet Mr. Used Shoes.
Theory #3: I dumped it there in the dark of the night because I thought it was a trash can, and was trying to throw away an old shoe. Come morning, and amnesia, you have a very confused bell.
Theory #4: Candid camera.
On a random note, Rita Lee's "Lanca Perfume" is the sort of song that makes you want to twirl around the room, hands above the head. Like a top at full speed. You can find it over at Audio Galaxy. My parents tell me that it's a refrence to some sort thing kids of their generation got high off on during carnivals. o_O;;;; Will ask for more details.
...Not to make the understatement of the year, but listening to 'I Touch Myself' seriously, I've remembered just how sexed up this song is. Give me a break, the first time I heard it was before I knew about sex! Things like this flew over my head.
Friday, June 15, 2001, 12:48 a.m.
Funny how firmly an association with a song can stick so firmly in the mind. I heard before 'I Touch Myself' a thousand times before. And I've heard it afterwards. But now, as I listen to it, all I can think of is tylda. Tylda, smiling coyly, pretending to be/wanting to flirt madly with her [male] crush. She never sang the full version to me, just the main chorus. And we usually ended cracking up in giggles before she finished.
But, still, I see that smile so characteristic of her. And with that smile comes the twitched eyebrows. And when I remember things like that is when I miss her the most, and forget the minor details like the fact that she turned into a major bitch.
It seems amazing that I ever knew her-- didn't I imagine the whole thing, where's the evidence we ever met? I can't really picture the past.
Thursday, June 14, 2001, 08:54 p.m.
Y'know, I'm in need of a seriously good RPG. Something that will suck me in for hours at a time, and something for me to wonder and work over. But damnit, there's nothing. Any suggestions? Must have good story, and good characters. I'd like it to be dark and mysterious.
Tempted to just replay Vagrant Story. God, I loved that game! It was so... sexy. Not the bit with Ashely's butt hanging out of his pants, but the setting, the character design, Sydney, the story, the eeriness and mystery. A Game Like That is what I need.
Because, as it is, I spend the days staring out the window and my soul slowly is eaten away by boredom. It's doing some nasty things to my overall mood. Nasty doesn't even begin to describe it. I'm downright depressed.
Thursday, June 14, 2001, 05:56 p.m.
After watching ep. 66, I'm more inclined to sympathize with Sana. I can understand far too well that need to forget, to run away, and just leave it all behind. That's how I spent the last six months of high school. And it's hard, impossible, when you see your friends every day. But they're not your friends anymore, they don't care to look at you, and it's HARD. I can't tell you how ecstatic I was to leave it all behind, and go to college.
Maybe I'm irritated because I know that Sana will end up with Hayama, but I'll be made to sit through 40 episodes before it happens. And that's a hell of a long time to sit through annoying UST eps.
The fun of the series was not the constant tension of the middle school eps, but the characters. I love the interaction between Tsuyoshi and Hayama, Hayama and Sana, and so forth. Seperate them, and where's the fun?
Thursday, June 14, 2001, 11:54 a.m.
Archived the blogs that were crowding up the space.
Janaki-san, just so you don't think I'm evil and cruel and mean, I am, but I'm still going to reply to your emails. I'm wading my way through them. You write a lot, you know that, girl? :)
I've decided that Hayama should stick with Fuka, Sana should move on with her life, and fall in love with Naozomi or some other nice person. Because it's obvious to me that she and Hayama don't work as a couple anymore-- they don't TALK. They never communicate. :P They used to work beautifully together (beautiful enough to even become one of the first heterosexual couples I've supported in a looong time), but no more. Fuka and Hayama work.
It's sad to see Sana working like that, though. That bill board with her picture on it-- she's what, 14, and already being dressed up as a whore? Perhaps that's what happens with a lot of child actresses. They have a mildly enough normal life, start to grow up, get a huge career, so huge that they can't keep up with their past life, and give up a normal life entirely.
I'm also sad to see Sana to have developed into such a blubbering mass of indecision. Perhaps she was a bit screechy before, but she did what she wanted to, and went through with it. She became what I guess is considered more femmenine-- denying all feelings of love/lust, and become passive in relationships. Yes, that's it. She's passive now. Before, if something bothered her, she's go out of her way to fix it or communicate her thoughts.
Yes, you're thinking, "bell, this is just a CARTOON. Get over it." But that's exactly why I'm upset. I'm upset because shows and manga and all sorts of popular entertainment is like this. Young girls watch this, and believe that's what they're supposed to be like. Sweet and pretty and indecisive.
It's not just Sana-chan who does this. Look at Belldandy, Goddess of Domesticity. See Miki (of Marmelade Boy), loved by a whole army of men. Hikaru, once the mighty and strong Magic Knight, went to pieces when she fell in love with Lantis (though she was also facing some major moral issues at the time). Alice, in Please Save my Earth, was a deity and loved by all in her past life, but could never make a choice of her own.
There are only a handful of main female characters in anime who I can see as strong and decisive. Nausicaa. Hokuto from Tokyo Babylon. Suu of Clover. Lina from Slayers. Utena, maybe-- she also fell apart after falling in love, but she got the pieces back together.
I love women. In every way. So it kills me to see us being represented this way, and then accepting these roles.
There are lots of side female characters who fight for want they want, or have no fear expressing their agression or sexuality. Haruka/Sailor Uranus. Nakuru/Ruby Moon. Sonomi. Urd. Oruha. Soi. Shampoo. But these females are generally seen as bitches, or second best to the main, passive LADY of the series.
Or, even worse, the ladies who start out firm but eventually mellow out into an passive attcahemtn to their man. Akane, Sana, Casca, and so on.
